And so the inaugural race of the 331 season commences. One couldn't ask for a prettier day to tear up one of Ohio's most technical and feared single-track: Vulture's Knob in sunny Wooster, OH. This year already had a different vibe and a distinct scent in the air, literally, as it smelled like utter shit. But this was a battleground of two-wheeled warfare, not a time to wonder how something that putrid can be used as fertilizer for vegetables. Anyways..
This is my first year participating in the sport category... still not sure I belong here but screw it, you only live once, and besides, the fine folks at The Bicycle Hub in Mentor outfitted me in this swanky kit. I almost feel like a creepy super hero when donning it.. but that's another story. I'd been training, running & pedaling my ass off all winter on this torture device known as a 'trainer', so I felt up for a challenge. To my dismay however many other racers were in seemingly excellent form (as evidenced by the scorching fast final lap times).
4:00 PM, go time. After the opening announcements, conducted by the always entertaining Rody, the very large field was ready to throw down. Up first were the experts. Not as many contenders as I imagined, but they all looked.. expertish. They fly out the gate like Lindsay Lohan on a coke bender. Pfft, gone. Next up, the heavily populated sport class; game time.
I sprint out and try to gain early positioning; this technical trail is by no means an attacker's delight. I find myself towards the front of the pack and maintain a steady, intense cadence for the first few miles. Everything's clicking and a portrait of Charlie Sheen smiling with a bottle of MD 20/20 emblazoned in my mind (I still don't know why, but seemed to work). This didn't last long however. The Knob has a tendency to quickly dampen confidence by throwing in exhausting short climbs and twisty-turny technical sections that zap energy reserves quickly. I was starting to feel like Sheen after consuming one too many MD's.
Last night's pre-race beers have now worn off. I'm now gunning to pick off the guy ahead of me when it happens...While descending a sketchy, muddy section I found the wrong line and endo'd superman-style. This led to an epic face plant that shattered the nerves, along with any positioning I had; at least 5 guys burgers and fries rode on by. Shitf*ck! I yell.
I check for any missing teeth, stow the glasses, shake off the nerves and crawl out the Knob's mud spa. Back to work. The miles went by and eventually caught up to the main pack, but they weren't accepting any newcomers. Sport class is no doubt more competitive than beginner and this was going to be an arduous 2nd lap. I ended up passing a few more guys posting near-record personal lap times of 41:45 & 42:36. I'll take 6th place.
The ensuing woo town SS race was quite entertaining, as riders were coerced into applying Sriracha-laced chamois butter to their bare gonads halfway through the race... good shit! Luckily I opted to down victory beers instead and maintained a safe spectator position. Next year however I shall partake in this unusual race format and burn thy loins for the Knob gods!
Congrats and thanks to all the winners, racers, 331 crew and supportive family/fans that attend these events. This sport is blowing up in these parts up thanks to y'all. Extra special thanks to Rob & Emily, owners of The Bicycle Hub and just overall good peeps. Cheers to a long and prosperous '12 season.
